Moving to a Foreign Language

[2007-02-13] Marcel was born here and grew up in South Africa as his folks emigrated in 1971. Fortunately over the years, Marcel learned how to speak Dutch from his parents. Another real blessing for us, he lived in Holland for five years (from 1990) and returned to South Africa, where we met and got married. At the end of 2001, we moved to The Netherlands.

I'm a born and bred South African of English descent. My father and his family hail from the UK, as do my maternal grandparents. We were raised in a fairly colonial way, and practised a certain disdain for Afrikaans and the boers [farmers]. A silly remnant from the Anglo-Boer war?

As a result, I ignorantly thought of Afrikaans as a "silly, unnecessary langauge" and learned just enough of it to pass it as a (compulsory) second language at school. I also followed one year of Latin, but sadly our school at the time, didn't offer other languages like French, Spanish or German.

Aside from the languages I didn't learn, I knew that Afrikaans was a derivative of Dutch, so I figured that my new language would be a piece of cake ... perhaps a tad more difficult. I also figured I'm an intelligent person, and I learn quickly, so it shouldn't take too much time before I was jibbering away.

Hoo boy, was I wrong! I completely understimated the language.

It's a super difficult language to learn. A fully-blown, more-difficult-than-English language. Luckily, as an immigrant to The Netherlands, I was obliged to follow an Inburgeringscursus [Naturalization Course] that includes Dutch lessons. This is when it dawned on me just how complicated Dutch really is. It was quite a culture shock. But what a beautiful language!

The most frustrating thing I felt was not knowing the names of everyday things, especially when you need to buy them. The upside of globalisation is that a lot of name brands are available, albeit in the local language. It's fairly easy to recognise a lot of stuff, like your favourite brand of deodorant or toothpaste.

What is more difficult are products that are similar to each other. For example, a 1-kg paper bag with a cake picture on it. Is that cake flour or self-raising flour? What's the name of baking powder, as opposed to baking soda? What do you call earbuds or aqueous cream? How do you cope if you have an allergy or three?

If we moved to another language again, I'd make a list of things that I buy on a regular basis, with a recognisable picture and write down the English name, with the new language name next to it, preferably with the correct pronunciation. The picture is handy for pointing it out to a kind soul, who can tell you where to get it from, or how much it costs.

Which brings us to the subject of money. Some bank notes and coins even get special nicknames! When a teller asks if you have a dubbeltje (10c) or a stuiver (5c), you simply gawk at them in horror. Why can't they just use the proper names? These are the kinds of things you just don't think about.

Locals markets are great, because you can loiter unobtrusively. It's easy to see and recognise familiar food stuffs (tomatoes, onions, etc.) and then to discover new things that are not available in your home country e.g. there were things here that I'd never seen before and am still not quite sure what the English name is e.g. knolselderij ... some form of knotted celery??

People are also normally relaxed at a market, so it's an easy way to learn more about their habits, and the way that they interact with each other. A way of learning their protocol. You think it would be the same as in your home country, but cultural differences can be vast.

A small example, Dutch life is more formal than in SA, with a definite divide between strangers and friends. It still gets me now ... there are two forms of 'you'. There's an "U", which is formal and a "je" which is informal. Calling a stranger "je" is NOT done - you get very strange stares, believe me!

Facial expressions and body gestures can get you quite far, but it's far more complicated on the telephone. You come across like a stuttering fool, while you're doing your level best to explain the telephone call. It took me a couple of years before I stopped dreading ringing phones.

It's relatively easy to pick up enough words to get by when eating in a restaurant, but having a conversation with someone is very tiring and frustrating. Can you remember a child reading you a story? Word for word? It's very trying for the listener, and you need lots of patience. So do those people with whom you are trying to speak.

To keep up in conversations, you need to practice, practice, practice. The best language tool I found for improving speed and pronunciation was online stories that are also read out loud i.e. where you can read it, hear it and practice your own pronunciation. A digital dictionary that gives pronunciation is also fantastic.

But the biggest challenge is overcoming the feeling of stupidity. Because you're unable to say what you want. Or the feeling of isolation, because no one understands you. I started off bravely, but found myself getting quieter and quieter. It just knocks you down, one clumsy word after the next.

Moving to a foreign language can get very lonely. Don't be afraid to seek courage and support from an Expat Community. We're not alone in our experience.

Learning a new tongue in a new land is very daunting, but also very enriching. It expands your world and makes you feel great when you can hold a conversation, and even think in a new language.

If you're looking for an easier move, then learn the language before you move. If you want an authentic experience and personal growth, learn it from native speakers in your new home.

© Written for Tours and Tales by Marcel and Victoria Koning (Marvic). We promote responsible tourism and love nature and wildlife, discovering new places and different cultures.

"A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving." ~ Lao Tzu